A friend is experiencing her father’s struggle with cancer. There are all the treatments and the hope of a healing.  Then a few nights ago I received a text message imparting the deep awareness of the impending loss of Dad.  An exchange ensued, which if you reflect upon it, is our common journey with loss, change and the unknown.

Friend: I need prayers for my dad, please!

JC: Praying…

Friend: Thanks, bad news.

JC: Yes and trust.

Friend: I’m trying.

JC: Yes, and it’s really hard and it’s supposed to be.

Friend: Doesn’t make it easier to see the suffering. My pain is irrelevant. My dad lived a good life. He deserves much better.

JC: All pain is relevant.

Friend: I understand. The reality still hurts. You understand.

JC: Yep and you will in time.

Friend: I don’t’ know. All I know is hurt now.

JC: Then hurt.

Friend: I am.

JC: Then you are present.

Friend: I’m in an emotional crisis. I thank you for your prayers. They mean a lot to me.

JC: Goodnight and peace.

Everyone suffers from time-to-time, as it is part of the human condition.  Pain and loss are their own teachers. If you trust, then the process of suffering will introduce you to new gifts of discovery and growth. Please don’t cheat yourself out of this and be gentle and patient with yourself within the void of the unknown. Loss is supposed to hurt… and you hurt to heal. In a profound way, the pain is for you and for your growth.